The United States of American Wall of Shame: Of Course, I Can Only Speak From Experience

I know some of U wanted that "New BBB" information. Shame on you for being too loser to ask.

Let's start at the very be-ginning. The only real place to start...

(Oh, we'll say 1980)-A racist, people-politic-y hometown (Dubuque, IA). I took your kids to school, anyway.

1996-Go to school and get the shaft from punk a** upperclassmen teammates and abusive, wicked witch coaches in varying shades--DEPAUL UNIVERSITY (Chicago, IL). Don't feed us on our road trips, make us run 'til people puke. Tell me to go seek a Psychologist because I'm "damaged" as everyone hides behind me (or takes solace in the Men's Basketball or Soccer teams, like musical beds, take up alcoholism, or worse) cuz I'm the only one who'll stand up to the coach & the A.D. I will. The Psychologist insinuates I have a brilliant mind & that the only thing I do "wrong," mentally, is think negatively about myself. "Some people don't need meds," she says, "They can do it by themselves." I'll definitely wonder about the fact that you're a lesbian, Coach, because I can't help but wonder if certain girls worked for their status by doing favors for the staff, all U power/glory-hungry hos. Threatened our scholarships 'til U were blue in the face. I'll keep it, thx. It's me, not U, that deserved to stay. I rocked the house in high school under pressure. Under torture? Go f**k yourself.

Where have U been while I've been dying in the Apocalypse all y'all PROFS who allowed me to teach your classes from my seat?!!

Top-notch Business School my a**!

LIFE!-Jealous a** women, how 'bout "mentors," "wise crone women," and "friends?" At least relegate yourself to the truth--you NEED ME to be anything but a p**sant.

2008-LINDY ("Droopy Dog"), the lying leasing agent and ROANOKE WEST (Kansas City, MO), thanks for making a priceless yoga teacher on an involuntary vow of poverty contaminate her own lungs in her own home as she leads the city in asana practice & throw ALL OF HER BEAUTIFUL, HARD-EARNED FURNITURE in the landfill because U completely lied about the secondhand smoke problem in the apartment community. Thx 2 LISA THE MANAGER, THE CRES MANAGEMENT, LLC CORPORATE OFFICE, my childhood doctor, DR. IAN KOONTZ & DUBUQUE INTERNAL MEDICINE that employed my adoptive mother her entire career!!!, THE KANSAS CITY BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU, THE KANSAS CITY HEALTH DEPT., REP. JAN WHAT'S-HER-FACE WHO SUPPOSEDLY WAS SO "GREEN," LIKE I AM, says the hands-tied Health Dept., my not-doing-s**t-about-anything, anyway, PARENTS for tormenting me & sticking up for Lindy, instead of helping get me the F**K out of there without paying fees on top of it!!! Thx 2 my yoga students, who I gave my life to, without hesitation, as the Recession hit, and thru life's ups and downs, especially those who were attorneys!!! for not doing S**T. Wait--you're all suffering from an abandonment complex, as it is, because now I've decided to move to L.A. instead of open up a Power Yoga shala for Kansas City to continue my journey & U're wondering why I won't stay & "make sure Kansas City is o-kay first?!!!" Really?!!!

2009-SANTA MONICA POWER YOGA (Santa Monica, CA), granted, things sync'd up, and I won the bid 2 teach the Sunday a.m. class opposite Bryan at the other location, in a way that even I found unbelievable, but when U tell me to show up after living off of the meager savings account I have for weeks, with 4x the amount of money I was originally told, U DARE send me energy of "you've just fallen off the ship" when U send my deposit back when I've given my life to you?!!! You could give a flying f that, now, one of the most up & coming Power Yoginis in the nation is completely income-less in the height of the Recession in Los Angeles, of all places, with well over a $1200/mo. rent?!?! I don't know--Can U sue a yoga shala?!!! Would I?!! No. And that's the point.

Thx to the JACK OFF PSYCHOLOGIST (Probably somewhere in Dubuque &/or Iowa!) my adoptive parents started seeing who allowed lynch mob sessions I could feel all the way out in L.A. where you talked about me behind my back, went around emitting that my yoga path & practice was an "addiction," like cocaine. It doesn't occur to them--ever--that you can't diagnose someone you've never met, much less based on religious practice. That's called bigotry. Oh wait--The cocaine thing--that was the kid from Dubuque who was out in L.A. flying around like a mad man that I think you'd hoped I'd hook up with?! when he needed saving from himself. Let's all find out who that QUACK was and stone (most likely) her (C/KATHY at HILLCREST FAMILY SERVICES or the little twit, CAROLINE/CAROLYN [same place], from Oregon [Does she routinely sleep with the people she helps?]--& you could tell--both of whom blatantly needed me more than I needed them, upon meeting them both???) in the public square. I've already endured countless and, somehow, have not died.

Thx 2 my psychopath ITALIAN? SUBTERRANEAN PARKING NEIGHBOR WITH THE AIR FORCE JACKET WHO LOOKED ABOUT MY AGE, with the reddish, Toyota pick-up who verbally assaulted me, threatening me, my new Prius, for being, literally, about an inch too close to the parking line separating us, then taking after it with a sharp object on all sides. THX 2 WESTSIDE TERRACE (Los Angeles, CA) for doing nothing, as usual. Thx for not even changing my parking spot, only to find out that half of the reason that I lived in burning terror the several months I was there, before I paid most of my food money, as an 80-year-old, to get out of my lease, to go back to a family that could've given a rat's arse about any of it, was because the bastard lived across the hall from me the whole time, & you KNEW IT!!! Note 2 U, you long-haired ponytailed, greasy piece of S**T, even I was shocked when I received multiple encouragings from Source to totally take out all of my unleashed rage on your truck. I guess it's a standing offer if I ever find U again. Of course, I didn't, becuz I'm a saint. Karmically, I think that makes you dead by now. You're one of the most disgusting creatures I've ever had to lay my eyes upon. Same 2 U, Westside Terrace, BRIAN, THE MANAGER, THE SKINNY, DISGUSTING, SLIMY BLACK CHICK (She's so important that her name [Begins with an "S," I think][Will be corrected if/when I find it] evades me)--your staff who did my apartment walk for me, skipped out on my initial move-out meeting, then walked in with a pre-printed damages list, & the aforementioned wannabe Amy Jin chick walks in, waves her hand around at imaginary marks on the wall--must've been from my furniture--Oh wait! I don't HAVE any still because of LINDY, ROANOKE WEST, and my chain-smoking, cretin, vampire neighbors on all sides!!!--and makes me sign on the dotted line that that's what she wrote! while I'm still protesting, "WHAT?! There's nothing there!" There goes $250 as WESTSIDE TERRACE steals from the Recession-struck and poor, like a routine physical, even after I fight them after the fact, realizing I'd signed away money they've just stolen from me. The fact that my apartments always look better when I leave them than when I move in (As a known fact by people who have known me & landlords both) makes no difference now in a corruption-infested country that's making everybody's-doing-it out of illegality. U go, R.W. SELBY & COMPANY, INC. CORPORATE OFFICE & THE (scandal-wracked) LOS ANGELES BBB. You are completely impotent, if you're not bankrupt.

NATALEE THAI ON VENICE, way to have crazy addicts as bartenders & RACHEL THE SERVER who would burn holes in the back of my head & assault me on the regular as I ran the restaurant from my hostess stand. Try to pull power trips on me and where I park my car, months into my employment working nights and weekends--without complaint or hesitation, like a veteran restauranteur--saving all your employees from being lost souls, actually helping them have pride in their home state that they left for the lottery ticket of Hollywood/L.A. I have to admit, though, your Thai Iced Tea did rock my world.

Meanwhile, my only sibling takes me out of her wedding without hesitation after my Mom tells me, as I'm wondering if I'll have a home next month, that I'll ruin the wedding by coming back with my soft, yoga teacher energy, especially since I'm a vegetarian and am told that I don't get a special meal, even though I'm the bride's only sister. As I'm down to one meal a day, she's marrying some a**hole she probably met on the Internet who's screwing her to control her new Pharmacist's salary, & fortunately, her Goddess older sister is being killed off remotely, including by our abusive, lying parents & now, I hear, our extended family (WHAT. THE. F**K--Crucifixion, definitely, without a trial)?!?!?! I guess this is her way of getting back at me for growing up in my shadow & having all her high school boyfriends want to get with her Korean Barbie doll older sister? I called U a b**ch once, using one of my only curse word cards, when we were at a family holiday dinner because you actually really needed to hear it, vs. watching me be murdered as an adult? I guess I should've figured it out, up to then, when U never reciprocated on birthday cards or presents. I guess that's how U can really tell that we're both adopted.

Thx to all the "celebrity" yogs supported by Yoga Journal and GAIAM who knew me or of me and did nothing. You're the real thing. Fo' sho'. All the yogs of my generation R watching, & we're, like, SO INSPIRED. Oh wait--Some of U ARE of my age-bracket. There's definitely hope for anyone but myself.

Within days, I'd manifested a yoga shala on J.F.K. in my hometown, with landlord help, had part-time jobs on the line, in spite of my adoptive dad's adamant statement in 2006 when I first received the directive from Source that he'd "NEVER" help me open a Power Yoga shala (putting a period on my decision to leave my job and students in Dubuque and return to Kansas City), but my adoptive mother, who'd started practicing yoga, too (or whatever it's called when it's at BODY & SOUL WELLNESS CENTER AND SPA, that I helped open, as its Business Consultant, on slave labor wage--Here's where "Should I?" or "Shouldn't I?" just started becoming "Yes'"--and who pretty much put an energetic cap on the magnetism my classes could radiate at their space, dismissing it with a wave of the hand as, "It's too hard." I'll save U from the disclosure of the truth truth. U know the one I mean. For now), rants thru my yoga practice like Satan incarnate. Then, they both kick me out of the house, into the fricking, freezing cold & tell me I'm "insane" and not to come back until I get "help" (Wait, this is sounding awfully familiar) for bringing up something from childhood that maybe was a little too honest for them to look at. I forgot that common householders could give a s**t about the kind of states created by the truth.

KANSAS UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE (Kansas, U.S.A.), could U wreak of bulls**t anymore as you, like CA & AZ that followed you, did everything and anything to demonize me and my horrific, perpetual state of "overqualified" in this country in torturous, shame-of-the-United-States-of-America businesses, across industries, which starts to look really silly when the person's a superhuman, to not give me the pittance I had coming to me to at least eat?! Did U talk to my modeling agency?!!! I knew U cared!!!!

Thx to KENNY THOMAS OLATHE TOYOTA (Olathe, Kansas) for shaking in their boots when I'd come in for service because I seemingly knew more about my Prius than they did. Thx for making me walk around screwed in one of the worst winters in Kansas City history when I returned to a barren wasteland where Kansas City used to be, after L.A., after my parents kicked me out in the snow without a place to go next or a job, because of their issues, when I called you back & said, "There's something I forgot about in my buyback figure." The GM (Ask Daniel, my salesman--THE ARROGANT, SPOILED, OWNER'S SON? I don't remember his name) said, "Oh well. We're not giving you anything more for the Prius." Well, between that & that nightmarish collision center U sent me to after I ran over the freshly hit deer someone else had just hit at 3 in the morning, about 2 months after I'd bought the car, that totally jacked up the bottom and the fuel tank, take the fricking Prius, becuz I have a feeling you've got some horrible karma coming 2 U! You SUCK!!! I reiterate that all the way up the corporate ladder, thru about every form of communication. Boom shockalocka--global floor mat recall, plus plus plus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-2010-SIX40 (Kansas City, MO), way to be the I've-lost-count apartment community to lie about clear and non-negotiable bullet points on my "Should I live here?" list. It just happens to be that in one of the worst winters in Kansas City history when I happen to not be able to find income or a single place to teach, sell my car back, & get screwed on that, that I live in one of the worst neighborhoods, albeit totally revitalized!, in the Metro Area, because U assure me that, especially in the time I've been gone, the whole area's been turned around. Right. That's why there were vehicles with lights flashing lined up all the way down the street my first night in my new place--for another "incident" on the street corner that caused a detriment to somebody's life. And why I felt like I had my life blood sucked out of me every day & night in my new apartment by the other residents--especially by the guy who, U know, REALLY, REALLY liked me. U make me proud to be a Marketer.

KABABESH GRILL & BAR, NEW CAFE TANDOOR, BRIO ON THE PLAZA, & PIZZA BAR, for all the beauty various aspects of your restaurants added to my experiences, going under is no excuse for not paying your employees, not running your restaurant, sexual harrassment, racism, & not giving a s**t about your employees' lives. Way to make it look to the Unemployment System, though, as though I quit without reason when U can't keep your word on hours, don't pay me right or on time, and do everything wrong for someone who does everything glowingly above standard which, conveniently, then, makes her the anomaly and easy to bully. Way to use any intelligence you have for, U know, evil.

2010-Again, BUFFALO WILD WINGS, (Dubuque, IA), did you REALLY fill my hours at your supposedly struggling store after SOUTH BAY & BURBANK, CA, then about EVERY STORE IN THE KANSAS CITY METRO AREA also renigged on multiple offers (What's a struggling Creative, much less yog, supposed to do--I mean, it's like the executive version of a starving artist), causing me hundreds of dollars in lost wages by booking arrangements that couldn't be undone since they were done thru online budget sources, or were you just allowing the bullying, religious harrassment, & racism that was there all along to have its way?! At least Chad was down enough to coin me your "Asian Zing" & put the sticker on my nametag, explaining why I got as many phone numbers as I did $$$'s in tips.

Now I'm physically assaulted by my adoptive mother, for which I'm basically pushed into a corner by my adoptive father, saying that I need to "apologize to my mother." Apparently, I triggered the rage and deserved it for (still?) existing. I am now riding a one-speed Santa Monica beach cruiser around the only place I've ever called "home," really--with roots--in the United States of America. In the rain. Up massive hills. In the dark. As my adoptive parents pretty much mock me & tell me to "get a job." My ears have finally recovered from frostbite that I got in Kansas City as 70-year-old-looking fortysomethings and baby boomers drove by looking at me like I was the lunatic walking around in the snow. Except for the hot boys who ended up giving me rides, in synchronicity with my unbearable circumstances, who then ended up becoming obsessed fans I had to figure out how to get rid of (when I could feel my ears). I'm learning that all the people who were like our family--that I was taught were the better people in our hometown--are all watching, assuming, talking about me like evil, unrecognizable demons behind my back, rather than saying, "What the f**k, local celebrity rockstar athlete, one-of-the-smartest-most-accoladed-nicest-kids-to-ever-come-up-thru-our-city?!! R U o-KAY?!!!?!" I realized maybe it was their equivalent for their kids never really getting the grades that I did? Or R they just racist pieces of work. It's not a question.

At least 2011-STATE OF CALIFORNIA UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE, boy, did it take a barge and its distant (and I do mean distant) cousin, the spaceship, to get U to give me my money way after I should've already been dead from any number of "elements." How many employers' names, next steps, or crucial pieces of information could you screw up and have me fix for you without putting me on payroll as an independent contractor??? And the dudes with the weird accents that seemed deliberate in not getting me the information I needed to get over to Arizona's system that U said you'd look into and never got back to me on--Was that a Hollywood spoof on "Terrorist Employees Getting Paid While You Don't?!"

2012-When U know you're done sharing walls with people years ago, but there's this little problem called "no income flow, like nada," maybe the universe just keeps giving U signs anyway. Like the number of apartment communities who I've trusted & gone with frauding me out starting to cross over onto the fingers of my other hand. CRYSTAL CREEK APARTMENTS ON BELL ROAD (PHOENIX, AZ) & AMC, LLC CORPORATE OFFICE for saying, "You signed the lease" when the lease killed 10 trees up and down Bell, so I cruised it with RUBEN as my tour guide, and when I asked specifically about if the utilities were based on individual usage, I was told "Yes," and I believed you. So when I have to pay out my lease from yet another state across the country after Circle K & your legal system, from ground up, starts trying to finish the job my adoptive family, JAMIE SMITH, THE GOMER SMITH FAMILY, MATT MCFADDEN, ERIN (DONNEL) CHAMBERS, my cousin, RENEE (TAUKE) PAYLOR, probably ANGIE (JOHANNINGMEIER) WHITE, my former high school & post-college best friend, probably the guy I decided not to "marry," JESSE STROHMEYER, because he couldn't take "no" for an answer, amongst about a trillion other things signaling that I was being used to provide a relationship that actually provided pleasure to every single other person I knew more than it did me (That's for the next book), haven't (--I think the rule was, "If you ever were assumed to or outrightly said you'd love and be there for her, no matter what, because she gave you 100x the enrichment in your time with her than you ever provided, or could've provided, you get to judge and turn on her without reason--and ESPECIALLY without contact for several years prior--when she finally asks for something in return--to know that you're still a good person), you can be sure you'll make the doomed list. It's in the Akasha, and what makes it worse is U knew about all the terror that went be4 U.

MY ADOPTIVE FAMILY, ALL THE CRONIES WHO WALK AROUND SMILING TO MY FACE--you sent me flowers when I was playing for Wahlert, but snickered to yourself when you saw me walking around on the other side of town this year because, you know, it was never meant to work out for me in this country because I'm Asian. And a woman.--MICHELLE MIHALAKIS AND SAFE STRIDES WOMEN'S SHELTER, ALL RELATED ENTITIES, and KIM WHO USED TO WORK AT DUBUQUE INTERNAL MEDICINE WITH MY ADOPTIVE MOM, you're a sick cult parading around like do-gooders. You wouldn't be here without men. DUBUQUE HUMAN RIGHTS DEPARTMENT, thx for doing ZILCHO as I was evicted for what were clearly discriminatory purposes, like your governmental counterparts in every other place where I've lived. There wasn't one person in that house who would've backed for one second that VOLUNTEER JO ELLEN was telling the truth about my using the phone without permission, when she's the one who handed it to me. She needs a straightjacket. You're right, though. It's hard to know what to do when I don't break real rules or bum cigarettes off people walking by outside, like everyone else who lives there since I practice yoga instead. To JOE MAGNO, PH.D., SHARON K.BAUMANN, SUE SAWVEL, COLLEEN HELGERSON, DANIELLE STONE, & the really lost red-headed PAM who runs around with them, and basically anyone from the original holistic healing center, now flowing or with negative karma with BODY & SOUL WELLNESS CENTER AND SPA, you are NOTHING compared to the avatars in my generation. You are lost human beings who bandwagon jump based on what gets you off energetically in the moment, have no real spiritual path or values, and act it. I can tell why the healing communities across the country have been dissipating into thin air since that's the strength with which you represent or DO anything real, powerfully loving, or healing. But have your orgies and dance around in all your past lives, praying to every deity under the sun. The real New Age is mastery, and it doesn't suck identity from or try to kill its young, who R its evolution, in order to be something. Going from adored to "She deserves being attacked and condemned and told she deserves to be killed for having no karma" is what one gets for moving away from Dubuque? How deep it's gotten with wannabes on the enlightenment path, as well. Pretty sure it was NICOLE KAISER FROM THE MARIA HOUSE (& SHERRY MCDONNELL who backed her) who hadn't even talked to me, personally, but heard about me from one of the zillion employees I had to re-tell my story to about who I was and why I needed to stay there, hopefully temporarily, and outrightly told me they all thought I was arrogant and would treat the other residents badly when I called in crisis, having exhausted all other places to stay, and therefore, would be judged as unsuitable for their Women's Shelter before even having met them in person, not because I'm the last person on the planet who should be without income or mainstream influence at a time like the one we're in. Thx, ADAM FEYEN, for stepping in to help, but then, the next day when Sharon went pschizo and decided she just wanted me out because she liked the licking flames from the lying crapbag called my adoptive father, looking to recruit people to his take-down-my-own-innocent-daughter team, said, "Oh, well, never mind."

LINSY (RANSDELL) ADAMS, LOCATORS LTD. (Dubuque, IA) & HER TOO STUPID, COWARDLY, & PETRIFIED-TO-DO-ANYTHING-ABOUT-IT WORKERS, thanks for stealing my application fee and then taunting me for demanding that I receive it back and saying, "I'll see you in court." Thanks for being a walking definition of "soul-on-up-ugly."

SHERRY, GM AT OKY DOKY ON HILL STREET, thanks for hiring, then eliminating me, again, for being overqualified, rather than at least give me full-time work, train me for leadership, and make sure that the pattern of bullying by soul-less people with even insubstantial titles continued for me here in Dubuque. While I was being passed around from one insane-o's living room to the next, as if, really, underneath it all, their need for me didn't far outweigh my need for them as they were. At least a cardboard box doesn't have multiple personalities.

Thx to the entire Roman Catholic infrastructure in this area for making it so undeniably clear why I was led to the strongest spiritual path, with the most potential to lead a globe forward, and away from your miserable, bigoted, fearful, hypocritical ways. Even as I have, without judgment, stepped back into masses on necessary occasions, and lit up the room with always-have-been-there, perfect, exemplary, Catholic values and Light. Don't act as though you can't figure out why you're falling apart from every direction. You're weak, and there are new technologies being merged with ancient pathways to take your place, so don't worry about the rest of us. I'm sure you weren't.

More from the heart of Satya as it becomes important to make sure U know who you're rolling around, soul-deep, with!